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February 12, 2014 / MissSteele

The Last Great Birthday


In honor of my little brother’s 21st birthday, I thought I would share some fun facts about him. And yes, that is a hungry cat on his shoulder trying to steal his sandwich.

Here we go:

1. He shares a birthday with Abraham Lincoln, or should I say “Baberham Lincoln.” Sexy beast, he was.

2. My stepfather once asked him to back the family car up to get it out of the way, and he instead drove it forward into the living room. The wall is still cattywampus to this day.

3. A man, who I suspect was a schizophrenic, approached him at a Guitar Center once and demanded that he tell him he liked his hair. And then his shirt.

4. He was a drummer in a band, but he can also play the guitar, the bass, and the keytar. Ok, I made that last one up. Do they even make those anymore?

5. He owns a banjo. This does not help the stereotype of our locale.

6. In Germany, a local woman started conversing with him in German. When he politely told her, “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m American,” she replied with “Oh, I didn’t realize. You didn’t seem American. You weren’t acting like an asshole.”

7. Out of all the grandchildren, he is the baby.

8. When he was little, he had a speech impediment that caused him to say his “R’s” like “L’s”. It was adorable because he would say things like, ‘I’m scaled’ instead of ‘I’m scared’. Also, one of his good friends was named Pierce and he pronounced his name ‘Pills’. Of course, it’s gone now. Dammit.

9. When he was tiny, I pretended to die to freak him out and he called 911 for real. I felt bad because he was upset and crying. I think he still remembers this as one of his most traumatic childhood experiences.

10. As children, I made him eat soap. When my mother came in and saw what I had done, she said, “Well, great. Now he’s going to die.” I burst into hysterics and she said, “Calm down, I’m just kidding. But that will teach you to make him eat soap again.”

Happy 21st! It’s all downhill from here!



Leave a Comment
  1. Debby / Feb 12 2014 7:21 pm

    Funny Miss Steele, and all true!!

    • MissSteele / Feb 12 2014 7:26 pm

      I try not to lie to my readers. All four of them.

  2. Sean Smithson / Feb 12 2014 7:31 pm

    Happy Birthday to your brother! By the way, what does cattywampus mean?

    • MissSteele / Feb 12 2014 7:35 pm

      Ba! I forget that cattywampus isn’t used much outside of the southern United States. It means: in disarray or disorder; askew. 🙂

  3. annjohnsonmurphree / Feb 12 2014 10:38 pm


    • MissSteele / Feb 13 2014 9:26 pm

      Thanks! And thanks for stopping by!

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