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March 11, 2014 / MissSteele

We Had to Stop Before We Started Dressing the Cat in Doll Clothes

Cabin fever can really mess you up. I would know. Last week, we had a freak snow/ice storm that forced us indoors after we were just getting used to the idea of a warm spring. I was salivating at the idea of breaking out my flip flops and sundresses. I was dying to wear anything other than a chunky sweater, and just when I thought I was in the clear- Old Man Winter waltzed right up and kicked down my door like a dirty bitch.

It wouldn’t have been so bad if we hadn’t previously witnessed what seemed like 15 other snowfalls this season. Snow is a magical and beautiful occurrence that can awaken the inner child in even the most stale adults, but when you’ve been surrounded by it for 90 consecutive days it feels less like fun and more like dying. It begins to feel like the snow will not melt until well into June, and only then will someone find you curled up in a blanket next to a window trying to soak up any sunlight you can manage to see. You can braid the hair on your legs, and your skin has become so pale the rescue workers can literally see through you.

But, we can’t control the weather, so we had no choice. Since my husband and I were held up in the house, we decided we didn’t just want to plop our pasty, sun-deprived bodies in front of another marathon of Criminal Minds. Well, mostly I decided this for us because I had been watching WAY too much Criminal Minds for my own good. I was having horrible dreams involving stabbing deaths and stalkers, and I began to grow paranoid that everyone I had ever met was a serial killer.

The guy who works at the deli? Serial killer. The woman who delivers my mail? Serial killer. My trusted and beloved friend of 14 years? Definitely a serial killer.

So, in favor of keeping what remained of my sanity, I opted for doing something a little different with our snowy night. We…drew an activity from our jar! Yes! We have a jar. We are those kind of people. Well, mostly just me. He would be fine with the couch and his IPad.

The jar is full of slivers of paper that contain ideas of things to do when we…well…can’t think of anything to do. Most of them are simple, like getting ice cream or renting a really bad movie for the sake of making fun of it, but some of them are a little more interesting. It’s the luck of the draw, really. However, we were at a disadvantage because we really couldn’t go anywhere due to the ice, so we had to reject any activities that involved leaving the threshold of our home.

Finally, we settled on a few different activities, and one involved blind-folding the person and feeding them food to make them guess what it was. This is a dangerous game, I tell you. If your partner is particularly mischievous you can end of with a spoonful of mayonnaise when you were hoping for yogurt. Luckily, my husband and I don’t hate each other, so we were nice about the items we chose. I know it may sound sexy- the whole sensually feeding a strawberry to your blindfolded lover thing- but, our experience was more like throwing shards of BBQ Sunchips into the mouth of someone who has turned their blindfold into this:

Kyle

Don’t be alarmed. He decided to make himself look like a cat ninja using only my sleep-mask and a scarf.

Of course, we also danced together, played scrabble and cooked together. Pasta, not meth. Although that would have made the story more interesting. All-in-all it wasn’t a bad night to be locked indoors. 

I’m still glad the snow is gone, though. Any more winter weather and I will look like this:

Ah, a nice, chalk-white complexion and hollow eyes.

Ah, a nice, chalk-white complexion and hollow eyes.

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2 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. Sean Smithson / Mar 11 2014 8:53 pm

    That’s a pretty scary cat ninja.

  2. MissSteele / Mar 11 2014 11:43 pm

    I agree.

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