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January 21, 2015 / MissSteele

Here in the Real World. It Ain’t MTV.

This is your life before entering the so-called real world, and it is fantastic. Just look at it. The sun is smiling down upon you, the flowers are blooming, there’s a rainbow raccoon dancing to Mambo Number 5 (as illustrated in this crudely drawn picture).

Mambo #5

You are living the dream, my friend! Nothing to fear over here!

Now, let’s take a look at your life in the real world:

dead dreams

Ooph…that’s a bit of a change. There’s some serious shit going on over here. First of all, the adorably shy dinosaur has been turned into fuel (sad), the cutesy farm animals are food (sad, but delicious) and I don’t even want to discuss what the mystical unicorn has done to our jazzy raccoon (super sad). Also, it’s raining. Dammit.

As you can see, the real world is pretty terrible. I mean, just LOOK at that unicorn’s death stare! He is clearly angry about something. Anyway, you can avoid this land of depravity and pants-shitting terror by simply refusing to live in the real world. I have no advice on how to do this, but just heed my warning: It really sucks over here.

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